Heal

So, I started the new treatment plan. And… I feel off. It’s like I stepped into another dimension and exchanged old symptoms for new symptoms, aka side effects. It’s weird. I shouldn’t be complaining. I should NOT be complaining. I know this. It is a blessing that I can finally see the finish line. But I have to be honest and say that this feels WEIRD.

My doctor told me that I’d probably be back to normal in a couple of months with my current treatment plan. She threw in a disclaimer that if I felt sick from the treatment, and we needed to adjust, we could tweak it as we go along. She was so light-hearted about it, I almost dismissed it. Almost.

My body nearly laughed at me when I jumped headlong into a new pill regimen. I’m a week in, and we’ve already had to adjust my dosage amounts. I feel a little weakling for not being able to just stomach it like a boss. But this past year was full of lessons, and one of the big lessons was learning how to flow with my body instead of fighting it. This my opportunity to practice what I’ve learned. Everything in me wants to skip ahead to the day that I feel one hundred percent normal, but I can’t push. I have to be gentle. I will get there if I work with my body, not against it.

If I can be honest, I didn’t expect this part of the journey to be easy. I knew deep down that I would experience some discomfort, but I secretly hoped that I was wrong. I want easy. I want comfortable. I WANT a miracle. But that isn’t how life works. Everything worth having costs something. I now know this from experience. Everything in life worth having costs something.

I claim to want to be better, and some temporary discomfort is the price. So, I will be patient with my body, adjust where needed, and accept this discomfort as a part of the process. Your girl is determined to suck it up and win.